Oh God. These people have no idea what they’re doing. Every weekend, I play the “Cha Cha Slide” and every weekend I am forced to watch people half-heartedly stepping around like they just woke up from a coma! How are they supposed to “Charlie Brown” when they can’t even get the “slide to the left” down?
Do they want me to play the “Electric Slide,” because I will! I don’t need to care about this job! I can just put “Macarena” on repeat, and leave the limbo stick in the van! Don’t they understand that it’s a two-way street?
Jesus! Look at that girl! She’s not “bringing it back now, y'all” one bit! She didn’t even bother to put down her drink! And look at Grandma!
Where’s the heart? Where’s the soul? Where’s the spirit of the cha cha!?
That’s it. I’M GOING OUT THERE.