OkCupid User:  ASSHUNTER_taco     28 • M • Austin, TX  
   My self-summary    DRINK, EAT, FUCK AND HUNT 22/7–THE OTHER TWO HOURS IM SLEEPIN WHAT 
   What I’m doing with my life    11AM: WAKE AND BAKE UNLESS MOM IS STAYING OVER  
  12AM: FIRST BEER, LOOK UP GIFS OF GIRLS IN ATHLETIC WEAR, FAP  
  1PM: SIT OUTSIDE WITH GEORGE, EAT WINGS  
  2PM: GO DOWN TO CAIN & ABELS GET TRASHED  
  6PM: GO OUTSIDE FOR EXERCISE BECAUSE IM THE FUCKING MAN  
  7PM: GRUBTIME, PROBABLY BBQ BUT AUSTIN HAS A LOT OF FOOD OPTIONS  
  8PM: SEE LIVE MUSIC  
  9PM: TRY TO GET FUCKED (KAREN?)  
  10PM: FUCK OR CRUSH MORE BEERS   
  12PM: GO HOME  
  1AM: GRAB MY SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL, BLACK OUT  
 2AM: AWAKEN IN THE WORLD OF URUK, BREAK BREAD WITH THE COUNCIL OF ELDERS AND RECIEVE INSTRUCTIONS FROM NINSUN THE WISE 
  3AM: TRAVEL PAST THE MOUNTAINS TO THE EVERGREEN FOREST WHERE THE HELLBEAST KNOWN AS “HUMBABA THE FEROCIOUS” GUARDS THE ORACLE. DIG A PIT, REFILL WATERSKIN, WAIT.  
  4AM: UPON THE SOUND OF HIS ROAR IN THE DISTANCE, CHOP DOWN A CEDAR TO GET THE DEMON HUMBABA’S ATTENTION. APPRECIATE THE SWEET SMELL OF PINE BEFORE HIS ARRIVAL AS IT IS THE LAST MOMENT OF SOLACE BEFORE THE BATTLE. ENGAGE WITH THE BEAST. ATTEMPT TO SEVER HIS LIMBS, WHILE AVOIDING HIS GIANT CLAWS, SCORPION-LIKE TAIL, AND TERRIBLE SERPENTINE PENIS (HE WILL USE IT)  
  5AM: (IDEALLY) PIERCE HUMBABA’S NECK WITH THE SWORD. AVOID HUMBABA’S TRICKERY (I ALWAYS FALL FOR HUMBABA’S TRICKERY) AND FINISH HIM. DIG THROUGH HIS ENTRAILS TO FIND THE ORACLE (HE SWALLOWED IT, WHICH IS WHY HIS BELLY GLOWS)  
  7AM: IF MY MISSION IS SUCCESSFUL, PRESENT THE ORACLE AND THE SEVERED HEAD OF HUMBABA TO AYA, GODDESS OF DAWN, REST  
  8AM: RE-ENTER THE MORTAL WORLD, CHILL OR MAYBE XBOX  
  9AM: GO TO SLEEP  
  REPEAT EVERY DAY UNTIL HUMBABA IS FINALLY VANQUISHED AND I AM FREE OF THIS CURSE  

   The first things people usually notice about me    MYSTERIOUS SCARS, MY TATTOO (HEINEKEN LOGO BUT IT SAYS “HUNGOVER”), SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL 
   I’m really good at    BEER 
   Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food    NO BOOKS 
  THE HANGOVER, EXPENDABLES (1 & 2 BUT FUCK 3), ROCKY, TERMINATORS, ANYTHING WITH JOHN CUSAK THAT IS ONE DAMN FUNNY FUCK  
  TV IS FOR LAZY PEOPLE  
  AUSTIN HAS GREAT LIVE MUSIC, I JUST WALK DOWN 6TH STREET TIL I HEAR SOMETHING I LIKE. ALSO SHAMASH, LORD OF THE MOUNTAIN PLAYS A SONG ON HIS ARGHUL THAT IS PRETTY COOL  
  FUCKIN BBQ WHAT  
   The six things I could never do without    1. GEORGE  
 2. COLLEGEHUMOR ORIGINALS 
 3. THE SHRINE OF IRINI, WHICH SERVES AS A COMPASS ATOP THE MOUNTAINS 
 4. KNOWLEDGE OF DEMON HUMBABA’S SEVEN TERRORS AND HOW TO AVOID THEM 
 5. BRAVERY AND RESOLVE 
 6. SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL 
   On a typical Friday night I am    HUNTING FOR ASS OR HUMBABA THE FEROCIOUS, IDEALLY CONQUERING BOTH 
   You should message me if    FUCK IF I KNOW IM A MIXED BAG 
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OkCupid User: ASSHUNTER_taco
28 • M • Austin, TX

My self-summary
DRINK, EAT, FUCK AND HUNT 22/7–THE OTHER TWO HOURS IM SLEEPIN WHAT

What I’m doing with my life
11AM: WAKE AND BAKE UNLESS MOM IS STAYING OVER

12AM: FIRST BEER, LOOK UP GIFS OF GIRLS IN ATHLETIC WEAR, FAP

1PM: SIT OUTSIDE WITH GEORGE, EAT WINGS

2PM: GO DOWN TO CAIN & ABELS GET TRASHED

6PM: GO OUTSIDE FOR EXERCISE BECAUSE IM THE FUCKING MAN

7PM: GRUBTIME, PROBABLY BBQ BUT AUSTIN HAS A LOT OF FOOD OPTIONS

8PM: SEE LIVE MUSIC

9PM: TRY TO GET FUCKED (KAREN?)

10PM: FUCK OR CRUSH MORE BEERS 

12PM: GO HOME

1AM: GRAB MY SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL, BLACK OUT

2AM: AWAKEN IN THE WORLD OF URUK, BREAK BREAD WITH THE COUNCIL OF ELDERS AND RECIEVE INSTRUCTIONS FROM NINSUN THE WISE

3AM: TRAVEL PAST THE MOUNTAINS TO THE EVERGREEN FOREST WHERE THE HELLBEAST KNOWN AS “HUMBABA THE FEROCIOUS” GUARDS THE ORACLE. DIG A PIT, REFILL WATERSKIN, WAIT.

4AM: UPON THE SOUND OF HIS ROAR IN THE DISTANCE, CHOP DOWN A CEDAR TO GET THE DEMON HUMBABA’S ATTENTION. APPRECIATE THE SWEET SMELL OF PINE BEFORE HIS ARRIVAL AS IT IS THE LAST MOMENT OF SOLACE BEFORE THE BATTLE. ENGAGE WITH THE BEAST. ATTEMPT TO SEVER HIS LIMBS, WHILE AVOIDING HIS GIANT CLAWS, SCORPION-LIKE TAIL, AND TERRIBLE SERPENTINE PENIS (HE WILL USE IT)

5AM: (IDEALLY) PIERCE HUMBABA’S NECK WITH THE SWORD. AVOID HUMBABA’S TRICKERY (I ALWAYS FALL FOR HUMBABA’S TRICKERY) AND FINISH HIM. DIG THROUGH HIS ENTRAILS TO FIND THE ORACLE (HE SWALLOWED IT, WHICH IS WHY HIS BELLY GLOWS)

7AM: IF MY MISSION IS SUCCESSFUL, PRESENT THE ORACLE AND THE SEVERED HEAD OF HUMBABA TO AYA, GODDESS OF DAWN, REST

8AM: RE-ENTER THE MORTAL WORLD, CHILL OR MAYBE XBOX

9AM: GO TO SLEEP

REPEAT EVERY DAY UNTIL HUMBABA IS FINALLY VANQUISHED AND I AM FREE OF THIS CURSE

The first things people usually notice about me
MYSTERIOUS SCARS, MY TATTOO (HEINEKEN LOGO BUT IT SAYS “HUNGOVER”), SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL

I’m really good at
BEER

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
NO BOOKS

THE HANGOVER, EXPENDABLES (1 & 2 BUT FUCK 3), ROCKY, TERMINATORS, ANYTHING WITH JOHN CUSAK THAT IS ONE DAMN FUNNY FUCK

TV IS FOR LAZY PEOPLE

AUSTIN HAS GREAT LIVE MUSIC, I JUST WALK DOWN 6TH STREET TIL I HEAR SOMETHING I LIKE. ALSO SHAMASH, LORD OF THE MOUNTAIN PLAYS A SONG ON HIS ARGHUL THAT IS PRETTY COOL

FUCKIN BBQ WHAT

The six things I could never do without
1. GEORGE

2. COLLEGEHUMOR ORIGINALS

3. THE SHRINE OF IRINI, WHICH SERVES AS A COMPASS ATOP THE MOUNTAINS

4. KNOWLEDGE OF DEMON HUMBABA’S SEVEN TERRORS AND HOW TO AVOID THEM

5. BRAVERY AND RESOLVE

6. SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL

On a typical Friday night I am
HUNTING FOR ASS OR HUMBABA THE FEROCIOUS, IDEALLY CONQUERING BOTH

You should message me if
FUCK IF I KNOW IM A MIXED BAG

For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.