OkCupid User: ASSHUNTER_taco 28 • M • Austin, TX My self-summary DRINK, EAT, FUCK AND HUNT 22/7–THE OTHER TWO HOURS IM SLEEPIN WHAT What I’m doing with my life 11AM: WAKE AND BAKE UNLESS MOM IS STAYING OVER 12AM: FIRST BEER, LOOK UP GIFS OF GIRLS IN ATHLETIC WEAR, FAP 1PM: SIT OUTSIDE WITH GEORGE, EAT WINGS 2PM: GO DOWN TO CAIN & ABELS GET TRASHED 6PM: GO OUTSIDE FOR EXERCISE BECAUSE IM THE FUCKING MAN 7PM: GRUBTIME, PROBABLY BBQ BUT AUSTIN HAS A LOT OF FOOD OPTIONS 8PM: SEE LIVE MUSIC 9PM: TRY TO GET FUCKED (KAREN?) 10PM: FUCK OR CRUSH MORE BEERS  12PM: GO HOME 1AM: GRAB MY SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL, BLACK OUT 2AM: AWAKEN IN THE WORLD OF URUK, BREAK BREAD WITH THE COUNCIL OF ELDERS AND RECIEVE INSTRUCTIONS FROM NINSUN THE WISE 3AM: TRAVEL PAST THE MOUNTAINS TO THE EVERGREEN FOREST WHERE THE HELLBEAST KNOWN AS “HUMBABA THE FEROCIOUS” GUARDS THE ORACLE. DIG A PIT, REFILL WATERSKIN, WAIT. 4AM: UPON THE SOUND OF HIS ROAR IN THE DISTANCE, CHOP DOWN A CEDAR TO GET THE DEMON HUMBABA’S ATTENTION. APPRECIATE THE SWEET SMELL OF PINE BEFORE HIS ARRIVAL AS IT IS THE LAST MOMENT OF SOLACE BEFORE THE BATTLE. ENGAGE WITH THE BEAST. ATTEMPT TO SEVER HIS LIMBS, WHILE AVOIDING HIS GIANT CLAWS, SCORPION-LIKE TAIL, AND TERRIBLE SERPENTINE PENIS (HE WILL USE IT) 5AM: (IDEALLY) PIERCE HUMBABA’S NECK WITH THE SWORD. AVOID HUMBABA’S TRICKERY (I ALWAYS FALL FOR HUMBABA’S TRICKERY) AND FINISH HIM. DIG THROUGH HIS ENTRAILS TO FIND THE ORACLE (HE SWALLOWED IT, WHICH IS WHY HIS BELLY GLOWS) 7AM: IF MY MISSION IS SUCCESSFUL, PRESENT THE ORACLE AND THE SEVERED HEAD OF HUMBABA TO AYA, GODDESS OF DAWN, REST 8AM: RE-ENTER THE MORTAL WORLD, CHILL OR MAYBE XBOX 9AM: GO TO SLEEP REPEAT EVERY DAY UNTIL HUMBABA IS FINALLY VANQUISHED AND I AM FREE OF THIS CURSE The first things people usually notice about me MYSTERIOUS SCARS, MY TATTOO (HEINEKEN LOGO BUT IT SAYS “HUNGOVER”), SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL I’m really good at BEER Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food NO BOOKS THE HANGOVER, EXPENDABLES (1 & 2 BUT FUCK 3), ROCKY, TERMINATORS, ANYTHING WITH JOHN CUSAK THAT IS ONE DAMN FUNNY FUCK TV IS FOR LAZY PEOPLE AUSTIN HAS GREAT LIVE MUSIC, I JUST WALK DOWN 6TH STREET TIL I HEAR SOMETHING I LIKE. ALSO SHAMASH, LORD OF THE MOUNTAIN PLAYS A SONG ON HIS ARGHUL THAT IS PRETTY COOL FUCKIN BBQ WHAT The six things I could never do without 1. GEORGE 2. COLLEGEHUMOR ORIGINALS 3. THE SHRINE OF IRINI, WHICH SERVES AS A COMPASS ATOP THE MOUNTAINS 4. KNOWLEDGE OF DEMON HUMBABA’S SEVEN TERRORS AND HOW TO AVOID THEM 5. BRAVERY AND RESOLVE 6. SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL On a typical Friday night I am HUNTING FOR ASS OR HUMBABA THE FEROCIOUS, IDEALLY CONQUERING BOTH You should message me if FUCK IF I KNOW IM A MIXED BAG For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.

OkCupid User: ASSHUNTER_taco
28 • M • Austin, TX

My self-summary
DRINK, EAT, FUCK AND HUNT 22/7–THE OTHER TWO HOURS IM SLEEPIN WHAT

What I’m doing with my life
11AM: WAKE AND BAKE UNLESS MOM IS STAYING OVER

12AM: FIRST BEER, LOOK UP GIFS OF GIRLS IN ATHLETIC WEAR, FAP

1PM: SIT OUTSIDE WITH GEORGE, EAT WINGS

2PM: GO DOWN TO CAIN & ABELS GET TRASHED

6PM: GO OUTSIDE FOR EXERCISE BECAUSE IM THE FUCKING MAN

7PM: GRUBTIME, PROBABLY BBQ BUT AUSTIN HAS A LOT OF FOOD OPTIONS

8PM: SEE LIVE MUSIC

9PM: TRY TO GET FUCKED (KAREN?)

10PM: FUCK OR CRUSH MORE BEERS 

12PM: GO HOME

1AM: GRAB MY SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL, BLACK OUT

2AM: AWAKEN IN THE WORLD OF URUK, BREAK BREAD WITH THE COUNCIL OF ELDERS AND RECIEVE INSTRUCTIONS FROM NINSUN THE WISE

3AM: TRAVEL PAST THE MOUNTAINS TO THE EVERGREEN FOREST WHERE THE HELLBEAST KNOWN AS “HUMBABA THE FEROCIOUS” GUARDS THE ORACLE. DIG A PIT, REFILL WATERSKIN, WAIT.

4AM: UPON THE SOUND OF HIS ROAR IN THE DISTANCE, CHOP DOWN A CEDAR TO GET THE DEMON HUMBABA’S ATTENTION. APPRECIATE THE SWEET SMELL OF PINE BEFORE HIS ARRIVAL AS IT IS THE LAST MOMENT OF SOLACE BEFORE THE BATTLE. ENGAGE WITH THE BEAST. ATTEMPT TO SEVER HIS LIMBS, WHILE AVOIDING HIS GIANT CLAWS, SCORPION-LIKE TAIL, AND TERRIBLE SERPENTINE PENIS (HE WILL USE IT)

5AM: (IDEALLY) PIERCE HUMBABA’S NECK WITH THE SWORD. AVOID HUMBABA’S TRICKERY (I ALWAYS FALL FOR HUMBABA’S TRICKERY) AND FINISH HIM. DIG THROUGH HIS ENTRAILS TO FIND THE ORACLE (HE SWALLOWED IT, WHICH IS WHY HIS BELLY GLOWS)

7AM: IF MY MISSION IS SUCCESSFUL, PRESENT THE ORACLE AND THE SEVERED HEAD OF HUMBABA TO AYA, GODDESS OF DAWN, REST

8AM: RE-ENTER THE MORTAL WORLD, CHILL OR MAYBE XBOX

9AM: GO TO SLEEP

REPEAT EVERY DAY UNTIL HUMBABA IS FINALLY VANQUISHED AND I AM FREE OF THIS CURSE

The first things people usually notice about me
MYSTERIOUS SCARS, MY TATTOO (HEINEKEN LOGO BUT IT SAYS “HUNGOVER”), SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL

I’m really good at
BEER

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
NO BOOKS

THE HANGOVER, EXPENDABLES (1 & 2 BUT FUCK 3), ROCKY, TERMINATORS, ANYTHING WITH JOHN CUSAK THAT IS ONE DAMN FUNNY FUCK

TV IS FOR LAZY PEOPLE

AUSTIN HAS GREAT LIVE MUSIC, I JUST WALK DOWN 6TH STREET TIL I HEAR SOMETHING I LIKE. ALSO SHAMASH, LORD OF THE MOUNTAIN PLAYS A SONG ON HIS ARGHUL THAT IS PRETTY COOL

FUCKIN BBQ WHAT

The six things I could never do without
1. GEORGE

2. COLLEGEHUMOR ORIGINALS

3. THE SHRINE OF IRINI, WHICH SERVES AS A COMPASS ATOP THE MOUNTAINS

4. KNOWLEDGE OF DEMON HUMBABA’S SEVEN TERRORS AND HOW TO AVOID THEM

5. BRAVERY AND RESOLVE

6. SWORD FORGED FROM THE STRONGEST METAL

On a typical Friday night I am
HUNTING FOR ASS OR HUMBABA THE FEROCIOUS, IDEALLY CONQUERING BOTH

You should message me if
FUCK IF I KNOW IM A MIXED BAG

For more OkCupid profiles, click HERE.